The Advantages of Smoking

You will always have something to do with your hands.
If you work with explosives, you have a handy method of lighting the fuse.
On New Years Eve you don't have to go out to the fireworks. Just dip your cigarette into a jar of ground up sparklers.
Amuse your friends and be the life of the party by blowing smoke rings.
Always discard your butts in flower pots and garden beds as it helps fertilise the plants and keeps insects away.
Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed.
At the beach, children can use the butts to decorate their sand castles.
Annoy neighbours you don't like by staying home and smoking heavily.
You will always have a good reason for loitering - "Officer, I'm just having a cigarette".
When your neighbour's kids are too noisy, trigger their asthma by breathing smoke on them.
Why celebrate world no-tobacco day once a year, when every day can be celebrated as a pro-tobacco day.
Help keep the bush fire brigades trained and ready for any emergency by throwing lighted butts from your car window.
Keep your weight down by smoking cigarettes instead of eating them.

courtesy of The Non Smoker's Movement of Australia (http://www.nsma.org.au/prosmoke.htm)