Any Suggestions?

How can we lessen styrofoam use? This is imporant people.

Ryan... Ryan... Ryan...

Happy, happy, happy birthday!!!!

40 yrs na ba?bwahahaha...

After The Rain, The Sun.

Habo ko na daw mag-English ta feeling ko, may ma-edit na lang bigla kan sinurat ko. Kaya ngunyan, Bicol na nguna ako. Pag nahale na ang paranoia ko sa pag-edit na yan, saka na lang ako utro masurat ki English. Kaya Bicol tapos Tagalog na nguna akemba. Maray na iyan. Sigurado. Chakahon man nindo, wa ako ker.

Anyway, pagkatapos ki pirang aldaw na pag-uran, ngunyan, nagsakat na an aldaw. Kun kan enot may nagrereklamo ta pirmi sinda dumog ta dahil sa uran na naging baha after a long long while, ngunyan, pag may nadangog akong nagrereklamo ta mainit na, ipapangadyi kong mawara an ballpen ninda. Ballpen na sana ngaya ta baad pati ako magreklamo man.

Pero, iyo na ini an tigtataram na wara kakuntentuhan an tawo. Owel. Pero mas muya ko man giraray an init kaysa lipot ta pag malipot, bako ako komportable. Pag mainit, aw... Maray an buhay. Maski pamaypay, puwede na. Di ka pa masuon-suon ki bado.

O niya. Ta nagsakat na an saldang ngunyan. Magsuruspaghetti na kamo ta iyo na ini! Summer na.

By the way, nakakua akong bareta na kan paglabto nina LeVamp Yigae tapos ni Jesika Kalaka kan sarong aldaw, may mga soltero baya duman sainda na nagsiswimming pa sa baha. Imagine! Tapos, nagapairinutan pa sinda. Race kumbaga. Ay wow. Maintra kuta si LeVamp Yigae. Hehe. Aw diyan man palan sa baba kan opisina, may mga nagaskimboard. Libre na sindang pamasahe pasiring sa Arimbay. Su saro ngani, may helmet pa. Totyal!

Baha...Flood...Baha...Flood...

Syet... Naglusung kami ni Jesika Kalaka sa maliniiiiiiiiiiiiiiigun na tubig baha kahapon... Nadumug su itnap brief ko... period.

p.s. i took the liberty of editing the itnap part ta aram ko may macomment... iyo na, lalake na ako...

For Sale: Sony Playstation 2

For sale: Sony Playstation 2 console. Modified. Been in use for only 6 months. In excellent condition. Package includes 2 original Sony dual shock analog controllers, 8 MB memory card, Adaptor, A/V Cable, Box and Manual. Can play both original and pirated DVD games. Price: Php 7,000.

With 14 games included, Php 7,500. Games include God of War, NBA 2K8, Madden NFL and more.

send me an email (StBernard15@hotmail.com) or text me (0915-611-4492) for more details.

The Advantages of Smoking

You will always have something to do with your hands.
If you work with explosives, you have a handy method of lighting the fuse.
On New Years Eve you don't have to go out to the fireworks. Just dip your cigarette into a jar of ground up sparklers.
Amuse your friends and be the life of the party by blowing smoke rings.
Always discard your butts in flower pots and garden beds as it helps fertilise the plants and keeps insects away.
Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed.
At the beach, children can use the butts to decorate their sand castles.
Annoy neighbours you don't like by staying home and smoking heavily.
You will always have a good reason for loitering - "Officer, I'm just having a cigarette".
When your neighbour's kids are too noisy, trigger their asthma by breathing smoke on them.
Why celebrate world no-tobacco day once a year, when every day can be celebrated as a pro-tobacco day.
Help keep the bush fire brigades trained and ready for any emergency by throwing lighted butts from your car window.
Keep your weight down by smoking cigarettes instead of eating them.

courtesy of The Non Smoker's Movement of Australia (http://www.nsma.org.au/prosmoke.htm)

The Marvel That Is The Legazpi City Drainage System

Floods are a common sight in the suburbs of Legazpi City whenever it rains. Most people blame this on the archaic drainage system, but little do they know that Legazpi City has one of the most innovative, modern and mind-blowing drainage systems in the world. In fact, in the construction of the Legazpi drainage system, the technologies employed in the construction of the Panama Canal, the Great Wall of China, the Pyramids of Egypt and the Roman baths were taken into consideration and were very useful in the drafting of the architectural plans. To give you an overview of the marvel that is the Legazpi Drainage System, here is a simple illustration of how it works.

Picture 1. This is Legazpi City on a clear, sunny day.

Picture 2. After raining for a couple hours, the metropolitan area begins to flood. The water rises to as much as one foot.

Picture 3. PAG-ASA announced that excessive rain fall is a normal occurrence during the months of January and February. They announced that as much as 100 mm of rain will fall in the month of February alone, yet we are only in the middle of the month and the rainfall has already surpassed the 100 mm mark. Metropolitan Legazpi, particulary Vel-Amor Subd. and Oro Site are almost under 5 feet of rainwater and counting.

Picture 4. After days of non-stop rain fall, Legazpi City is completely submerged in water. Legazpi City is already known as Legazpi River.

But the beauty of it all is, after the rain stops it only takes our drainage system a couple of minutes to return Legazpi City to its usual state. Let’s thank God for small blessings people! We currently hold the record for fastest transformation from a city to a river and back. And it’s all because of our impressive drainage system. It is also in the running as one of the new man-made wonders of the modern world. Vote now at www.angmalansepatal.com.

p.s. joke lang. baka makaso kita kan mga nasa city engineer's office. hehehe

A Valentine's Post

You readers just might need these today. After all, it's Valentine's Day.

May MMDA ba rito? Kasi nagkabanggaan puso natin!

Asthma ka ba? Kasi you take my breath away.

Kung didiretsuhin ko ba to, diretso ba to sa puso mo?!

Ibibili kita ng salbabida mo kasi malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko.

Meron ka bang eraser? Hindi kasi kita mabura sa isip ko.

Alam mo, ako ang "SCIENCE" at ikaw ang "LAB" ko!

Kumakain ka ba ng asukal? Ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo sken.

Kung posporo ka at posporo ako, eh di MATCH tayo.

You know what looks good on you? ME.

You must be the reason for global warming... because you're HOT.

You dropped your smile. Can i pick it up for you?

I think I need to call heaven because they've lost one of their angels.

Can I have directions to your heart?

I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

I lost my number, can I have yours?

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Ang mahal na ng mga bagay ngayon. Gasolina, tuition fee, prutas, gulay, karne, gamit pambahay... Lahat yan nagmamahalan... Tayo na lang hindi.

Sana magnets na lang tayo... Kasi sa magnets, opposites attract!

Boy: Pagod ka na ba?
Girl: Huh? Bakit?
Boy: Kanina ka pa kasi.. tumatakbo sa isip ko.

I know milk does the body good, but damn girl! How much have you been drinking?

I'll buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the straw.

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice..

I'm lost, can you show me the way back to your home?

I'm just a Love Pirate... Looking for some booty!

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put u and i together.

All those curves and me with no breaks!

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fall in love.

Do you like strawberries or blueberries better? I just want to know what to put in your pancakes tomorrow morning...

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock!

You're so hot you must be the reason for global warming.

Miss, hindi ka pa ba napapagod? Maghapon ka na kasing tumatakbo sa isipan ko.

Mahilig ka ba sa crayola? Ikaw kasi nagbibigay kulay sa buhay ko.

Exam ka ba? Gusto na kasi kitang i-take home!

Me lisensya ka ba? Coz you’re driving me crazy.

Naniniwala ka ba sa love at first sight? O gusto mong dumaan ulit ako?

Hey, para ka namang kulangot, you’re playing hard to get.

Peyborit fud mo ba ang Alpo? You’re bitchier than my dog.

Para kang kuto, I can’t get you out of my head.

You are my dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

You are my rainbow, you add colors to my world.

You are my broom, because you swept me off my feet.

Do you have a map? Because I get lost in your eyes.

I may have lost my name, may i borrow yours?

Anong height mo? [girl says height] Pano ka nagkasya sa puso ko?

Kurutin mo nga ako. [pagkakurot] Kala ko kasi nasa langit na ako.

Pano ka magsmile? [pagkangiti] Salamat, wala na ang problema ko.

Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard? Kasi type kita.

Kung cactus ka man, handa akong masaktan, mayakap ka lang.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!

The Things I Learn From Hanging Out at the Oasis

I decided not to write at the moment about any of the three topics I asked you to vote on because all of them dealt with very delicate subjects. However, I am not altogether discounting them; I am just merely putting them off. So, Dennis, Pare Ko and Johnny, don’t think you’re already in the clear. Anyway, I had a lil bit of time on my hands and I decided to write about camels because they’re just darn fascinating! (yeah right!) When the word “camel” is mentioned, the image that immediately comes to mind is that of a hump-backed, four-legged, large-nosed animal that is often seen anywhere where there is sand. That is, however, just the tip of the iceberg. There is more to camels than meets the eye.

This is the Grand Camel or the GC (cool name, eh?!). Other camels seem puny in the presence of the GC. Other camels defer to the GC and sometimes refer to him as the Alpha Male, the Big Dog (although Big Camel seems more appropriate; but who knows what goes on in the mind of these dumb creatures) and the King. This camel is known for its sexual prowess, which is reminiscent of Angelo the Suki and Dennis the Baker’s memorable performance in the epic movie Azys: The Oasis of Love wherein they showed their expertise in teasing the ladies. Lando the Farmer also made a cameo appearance in the said movie which earned him a nomination in the film awards. The GC is also feared because it can drink from sunup till sundown without even batting an eyelash (sounds like some people I know. tsk tsk tsk!)

This is what an ordinary camel or OC looks like after trying to keep up with the Grand Camel in terms of drinking. Notice the foamy mouth and the glazed look? No! That is not the look of a camel who’s feeling the aftereffects of hearing the intoxicating Arabian love song "Rafiqi" (Arabic for Pare Ko). That is what you’ll get if you deem yourself good enough to compete with the GC. Notwithstanding its shortcomings, the ordinary camel is still respected in the camel community because of its ability to get along with other camels and and its funny antics.

This is a camel-in-training or CIT. This kind of camel cannot keep up with the GC or any of the ordinary camels, and you would often find it doing the so-called fergalicious move whenever they meet in an oasis. Not many CITs turn out to be an ordinary camel because of lack of willingness and sometimes a lack of drinking ability. But they have the exceptional ability of being able to sleep anywhere, be it in a restaurant bathroom, or while sitting on an inn's rooftop.

The kikay camels. They never go out of the desert shade without putting on dozens of accessories. They also make it a point to curl their eyelashes and shave their moustaches daily. Some of them seem to like the color pink a lot. Most of them idolize Joe and several Korean camels. They love rain. And they also love black. But do not be misled by their girlish demeanor. These camels can kick ass and can take on an ordinary camel any time. These are bad ass camels. In certain cultures, they are referred to as Johnny Bravo camels for reasons which escape me.

This is the rico-suave camel who goes by the name Joe. Most teenage male camels idolize Joe and the female camels go gaga over him. He loves black. But nobody knows that in reality he's gay. Ugly camels hate Joe.

This is the baddest camel in town. Other camels love to suck on the smoky teat (read: tit, when used informally) of this bad boy.

Here are a couple of excerpts from the movie Azys: The Oasis of Love